They are EXACTLY that!! Difficult!
I believe that discomfort and fear are the main factors why we avoid difficult, yet important conversations. Conversations that we know we need to have. Whether it be with our partners, kids, family, friends, colleagues, or even the rude customer service officer that went to far with the customer in front of you. I will wholeheartedly admit that it never feels good BEFORE we do it - the scenarios of how it will go in our head is sooooooooooo much worse (the majority of the time) than the real deal.
From my experience, the long term anxiety, stress, worry and fictional stories you create in your mind, from holding on to the things that are consuming your thoughts and feelings - is so much more detrimental to your health, happiness, wellbeing and the quality of your relationships, than having that difficult and sometimes confronting conversation.
Opening up, being vulnerable, real and honest are attributes that are not only attractive and inspiring to others but can also be internally satisfying and personally rewarding - that is, if integrity is an important part of your life. Holding back, for fear of an outcome that you can never truly predict - whether that be fearing a negative outcome or backlash; offending others or avoiding further conflict, these are really outcomes that simply, you have no control over.
So, I wanted to encourage and remind you, that you can only do you.... you can't control others and how they react or behave to your truth. But at least thats on them. Knowing that you were honest to yourself and willing to get uncomfortable to better your relationship, or situation, no matter what happens is brave and empowering.
Most of these conversations that I have engaged, albeit through some tears and pain, have been so much more successful than I could ever imagined. It deepened my relationships, my connections and my love and I am so grateful that I now have the inner strength and tools to move beyond the uncomfortable to live a more fulfilling life with incredible and important relationships. And for those conversations that don't go so well.... WELL, how much have you lost from the way it was before anyway?
BE BRAVE, LIVE HONESTLY & EXPERIENCE AMAZING RELATIONSHIPS.
Are you holding something in that you need to share and express with someone in your life? Maybe its time to take that step forward.... to discuss the disconnect with you and your boss; the loss of intimacy with your partner; the distance between you and your brother; the lack of support from your father or the way you felt when a friend said something that hurt you.... gosh the list is endless.
If you do it from the heart, with love and understanding at the centre of the conversation, and not from a place of blame, fear or hatred, it can be the very thing you needed to close out 2019 and start off an incredible 2020.
x Renee x