DO YOU TAKE THE TIME OR SPACE TO FEEL?
WHEN YOU DO FEEL, IS IT NUMB? DISTANT? DISCONNECTED? EMOTIONALLY UNSTABLE? SAD? DEPRESSED? BLAH!
IT IS ALWAYS A JOKE THAT THERAPY START WITH 'AND HOW DOES THAT MAKE YOU FEEL?'
There is a reason for this! Feelings are a very important and all too often, disregarded element of human functioning.
I had a realisation this last week, during a session with a client. Yes, I am a 'feminine embodiment coach' - a life coach that provides holistic counselling. BUT…. Its not about the title or qualifications, it’s about me, what I, Renee, can offer. After coaching some amazing women this last week, I realised that what I offer is a healing awareness; a loving presence, a safe space and yeah some specific education and experience (but this is less important). The first 3 things are unfortunately what a lot of us lacked in our childhood and something that we now struggle to accept and seek out in the lives we live. We tend to give so much to everyone else: to technology, to people; to things and to doing…. that we don’t have time for ourselves. Time to process and reflect on our experiences, our feelings, our truth within.
For so long I did this. I would hear, see and feel so many things in my role as a police officer. When I walked out the door of the houses we were called to, the watch house we charged someone in, the police station we documented it all at… I had to bury it all and start all over again for the next job. Something that I had experience in doing through childhood. I was called 'too sensitive' often and never felt like I was able to express myself in a safe supportive environment. All time went on and duty called, it became a very bad habit, one that had me feeling numb, disconnected within, and emotionally unstable. This was easy to maintain in the environment that I lived and worked in, that was until I had children.
Children crack you open and make you re-evaluate what is important. I was tested, challenged and felt more than I ever had before…. But, after sooooo many years of suppression, I had forgot how to feel and I was unable to process all the emotions, feelings and experiences that came along with caring and loving little humans. I felt unhappy, unaligned (I didn’t have this word at the time) and lost. I couldn’t understand why, I had everything I ever wanted.
I could see, touch and be with the amazing family that I had always hoped for. Working a job that I had always dreamed of doing. But…. Something wasn’t right. I wasn’t listening to what my body, mind, soul and heart really needed.
I found myself asking questions about what I really wanted to do and be. So, I went looking for help and for answers to this really uncomfortable sense of dissatisfaction. When I asked, I found a number of teachers, ideas, beliefs, experiences and tools that brought me to feeling so much more aligned within. It wasn’t easy, it wasn’t comfortable, it didn't happen overnight, I had to shift old behaviours and thoughts, feel and process unresolved traumas and experiences and I am still learning and developing, but it was and is, so worth it.
I now see these struggles, pains and lack of alignment in so many people. I feel their pain and discontent. I felt a deep desire to share what I had experienced and learnt with others, in the hopes that they don't need to reach rock bottom before they reach out. How can I let others struggle and believe that what they have felt and feel right now is the only option? I realise, I have to share my gifts, me learnings and really own what makes me light up inside.
So now…. I just want to wholeheartedly explain that what I offer to other women, is the space to feel, to see and experience the inner strength and power that they have, all the very things that I have experienced and stumbled my way through. I give a healing presence, non-judgemental support, and the space for others to finally reconnect with all the experiences, feelings, emotions, desires, dreams, needs, fears and wants that are and have been suppressed and buried each and every moment of the day.
So, if you feel called to seek out change, to start feeling and experiencing it all again. To start recognising the woman staring back you again, to reconnect to who you truly are... I would be honoured to be your guide through your transformation. You don’t need to get this from anyone else, you CAN do it yourself, but it is always so much more powerful to be guided and shown how by someone else, someone who has sat where you sit, thought how you think, felt how you feel, understands whats happened to and for you.
FEELING seems like such a dirty word and I hope to change this, get people feeling or at least thinking about feeling again. Get people understanding that asking for help is not weak, in fact it is empowering. Get others to really believe that it doesn’t have to be this way, if you don’t want it to be. You can change your thoughts and feelings can change, your outcomes and what happens to and for you, can all change.